Jenny Lawson is my hero

So I never really wanted to be a blogger, because bloggers are typically either hilarious and awesome or self-absorbed douche bags who think they are hilarious and awesome.  The first one is too hard to live up to and the second one would just make me want to stab myself right in the carpal tunnel.  But I do admire the hell out of one of the women who fits in category one and has expanded past blogging to books…that would be The Bloggess.  I found her when Hollie recommended I read “Furiously Happy,” and I’ve been hooked since.  Before this book, anytime I got into one of those “moods,” I would read Mary Forsberg Weiland’s “Fall to Pieces” and be all “sad face is sad” stay in bed with my dog.  Now I find myself turning to Rory the Raccoon for a little more “get your shit together!”  I mean, maybe I’m on the couch with the dog nearby, but that’s progress…right?  And where else would I have learned that kangaroos have three vaginas? AND that koala’s have chlamydia! Epic shit, friends, epic shit.

So, yeah…Jenny has a new book coming out that I’ll actually have to get in physical form…not that amorphous phone-ipad-computer app digital ghost follows you everywhere form…because it’s partially A COLORING BOOK! *squeeeee!* And then I will have to pick an image to have Adam tattoo on me.  I’m not sure if I need to ask for permission or something…I mean, I haven’t sought out permission for any of my other tattoo art, but this seems a little different.

Side note: that’s three tattoos I now need to get: my autism track tattoo, my Elie Weisel memorial tattoo and this tattoo…mother of god, tattoos and puppies are expensive habits.  Good thing I do not have 30+ puppies.

I also need to get a something to cure the intense itch of all the damn Zika bites I’m getting from spending too much time outside with puppies who take FOREVER to pee!  I try to tell Gus, “You’re exposing Mommy to Zika,” but she does not care.  She just wants to eat bugs…including bees…she will not listen when I tell her this is a poor idea.  Then I have to DRAG her away and she looks at me all “sad face is sad” (Like she was freaking reading Mary’s book!) until she gets inside when she can chew the F out of the baby gate.  (Thank you Amazon Prime…a new metal gate arrives tomorrow!!!!)  She has destroyed the baby gate I have had for years…since Mira was a puppy.  She is a ninja beaver devil puppy; Mira was never this destructive.  (Lies…Mira ate chair legs, and table legs, and the back of bookshelves, and tore up Berber carpet ALL OVER THE PLACE! But that was like YEARS ago, before she became trained CGC/TDI wonder ESA/PSD loved by ALL and shunned by few…#mymemoryisselective)

But the reason I mention Jenny is likely because I am in a slump and just finished re-reading “Furiously Happy.”  I swear, summer school drained the F out of me…but now NOTHING is still draining the F out of me.  And I have carpal tunnel…Life is a bitch…But at least I don’t have Zika…as far as I know.

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